I Am Not A Man

Sorry. I know SOME of you have taken an interest in my job and would like to hear more about the sick, bizarro, weirdo fantasies I see each day, and I would just loooove to write about that. You can thank those few lowly dildos who each week find it of extreme importance to speculate what sex I am, and who like to say I have something a little extra between my legs. This is for you douchebags.

I have often thought I was born a male. Once when I was young, I had heard a rumor that Jamie Lee Curtis was born with a penis, and that it was cut off after birth. Then later I saw a special on the Discovery Channel about the fact that it happens, but not very often – that folks are born with both sets of genitalia, and often times the parents decide that they don't want their kids growin' up freaks, so they lop the dick off, or erase all the traces of a vagina. They decide for their kids what sex they will be, and often times later in life the children display a lot of characteristics of the opposite sex.

Since seeing that special, I have thought a lot about myself, and my fucked up childhood where I refused to play with dolls and threw them in cages and only played with He Man and boy’s toys... and the fact that I would never let my parents refer to me as a little girl, but I knew that I was not a little boy, so I made them call me a "little guy." I also have a pronounced Adam's Apple. But the rest of me, I assure you, is feminine (I don't have "man hands" or anything, thank God). I tend to think and act more like a typical male. As far as sexual orientation, I don't consider myself gay, straight, or bi. Queer would probably describe it best. My first teenage sexual relationship was with a girl.

All of this put together plus anytime many people read my writing for a somewhat prolonged period of time, at least one to several of them conclude that I cannot possibly be a female and I am most definitely a male posing as a female. So you morons are not alone... it seems to be some sort of weirdo phenomenon.

I'm going off on a tangent here, but I've always hated web threads. I appreciate many of the comments, but reading some of your retard dribble can be more than a bit annoying. Then again, you take the time to read my retard dribble. But I feel I must set the record straight, so to speak. I am fortunately or unfortunately biologically, physically, and mentally a female. I do not have a penis. I don't even have an enlarged clitoris. If you must know, my clitoris is actually extremely tiny. I have breasts, even though I do find it a bit bizarre that they didn't fully develop until last year when I was 26.

I have been told I tend to think more like a man, whatever that means, especially when it comes to sex. I think people are referring to the whole "hit it and quit it" idea I adopted for awhile. I'm not like that anymore though. And I really don't think that is a purely or even mostly purely male tendency and know many females who think and act like that. I am a bit confused by this whole conspiracy theory of sorts that I am secretly a man writing as a female for CJ. I really don't understand why that seems to be a popular belief. Sure I have written about how women are disgusting, but I have written far more about how disgusting men are.

This shit is annoying. I have a pussy. Sorry folks. If you want to see it, watch my glorious video here on CJ entitled "Je Ne Regrette Rien" where there is a big whiskey bottle shoved up said pussy. Case fucking closed. Meg is my name. I don't have a cock. Go to hell. Shut up. Get a life. And get over it.

There is something interesting about all of this though. Because, like I said, some of you CJ readers (as obnoxious as you foul pigs are) are not the first ones to read my writing and come to the conclusion that I am lying about my sex. I must wonder then... extra small clitoris, large Adam's Apple, bizarre engendering during childhood... if I was actually like those Discovery Channel babies and Jamie Lee Curtis, and born with both genitalia. It would make so much sense for my parents to choose that I would be a girl considering I have always been "Daddy's Little Girl" (eh, guy), and I don't think he'd love me as much if I had a bulge between my thighs. He certainly would no longer be able to make comments about how pretty his "little guy" is, or more recently how shapely and gorgeous my ass looks, without sounding like a total homo. He never would have been able to take me to a really sleazy lingerie store at the ripe young age of ten and ask the cashier, to her complete horror, if they had anything in my size!!! (He still claims he was just looking for pajamas.)

I have even, at my braver moments, accused my parents of chopping my penis off at birth, and they just brush it off. "There Meg goes getting crazy again." But sometimes I do wonder. And then all of this crazy feedback I get from readers somewhat verifies my suspicion.

However, to answer the big question again... NO!!!!! I AM NOT A MAN. I AM 100% FEMALE. I HAVE A VAG. GO LOOK AT IT. NO MORE FUCKING DEBATES.

I AM BEYOND SICK OF READING ABOUT IT IN THE COMMENTS SECTION.

I do confess now that sometimes I believe I was born with a little something "extra"; however I never ever think I'm a man trapped in a woman's body, although I do wish I could gain admittance to gay male bathhouses. But other than that, I think I like being a LADY. Perhaps I'll write to Jamie Lee Curtis and we can start a club or something. In the meantime, recognize that I am a bootylicious female and that my vagina bleeds for five days every month. TAKE THAT!

Now go bother some other writer on this site about how you think he's a woman and leave me the fuck alone. Oh yea and if you think this is a good opportunity to use this post to ask me for naked photos of myself, I will send you something terribly disturbing and hellish in return... far more terribly disturbing than naked photos of myself.