watching andy ortmann is like watching a man who castrated himself. he has 16 holes in his dick and it looks like a fucking sprinkler when he's peeing. Noise Music is an extention of one's cock and what a great one he has. It's fucking disgusting. He got caught raping a 12 year old girl and spent 13 years in Angola prison for it. She only charged him a tootsie roll. he loved that woman since she was 12 years old. When he molested her. he took her hear and soul. She liked it on the kitchen table. He liked it on the Karatw mat. He said love me or I'll punch you in the mouth. He's proud to be a redneck from Chicago. He likes to watch black people make chicken pies.
Phillip's baby died yesterday. He wasn't much of a dad. He said Oh dear I'll kill you here. He took out his 44 and aimed it at her head. He dragged her by her long black hair and chucked her in the river yesterday. His lofe had changed, he's now deranged now she and him must part. He's got blood clots in his legs folks watchout! As Mr. Miagi says the pain of life is much worse than the pain of death. Aint that right Phillip?.
Melanie's a queer. Tryin to scare all the straight fucks outa here.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
rave trauma. When I was age 15 thru 18 I was doin all types of bad shit. My mom was dating a scumbag so he was out at her house all night often. I remember I would sneak out of the house and go ass deep into the chicago ghettos looking for a party. Then I'd take my telemarketing money and blow it on drugs. They started out like acid, ecstacty, special k, bath salts and fun party drugs, but they got harder. And shit got darker. Coke. Crack. Heroin. Meth. We went to a party on valentine's day. We went to the pharmacy down the street and We made a killing in line and didn't even have to go into the party so we bolted and didn't even go in. Drove all the way to Dayton Ohio for that theft. We lived it up in a shitty motel room doing coke that we were traded and all sorts of debauchery and sleaze went on that night.
On another drug rip off scam I had, I started crushing effidrine to use for meth. I would crush it up and package it in little baggies. People loved that shit. They came back for more. I was ballin that night too and got all sorts of coke and acid and bags of shit. It ruled. Mo money Mo problems as biggie says and the very next day when I was going to give my friends who had dropped out of the navy for being drug addicts the coke I had, Well on the way My friends and I were taking rips off of a huge bong in the car. It was awesome except that it was a huge ass bong. Not discreet. I complained to the driver about his ginormous bong and when we went to the parking lot of the suburban motel that my navy dropout friends went out we saw the flashing lights and knew we were busted. Now getting busted for pot is one thing. But getting busted for having over 500 dollars cash, being 15, and having cocaine and acid was bonerific for these pigs. They searched me and I kept it cool. They searched me another time, and another. I had that shit stashed good. They searched me a fourth time and that was it. They found it. And my mother had to come and find out that her daughter was a fuckup. I had to do probation and drug tests and don't ask me how I got through it but I did. She stopped sleeping at the scumfuck's house and I got grounded for the first time in my life! 2 weeks. We were total scumbag ravers. Sleeping at crackhouse afterhours where there were these two little boys who would try to fuck us. I mean we were being raped by children in these houses!. Not to mention the sleazoid creepers who were around. Rave Trauma be damned. The upside to this story is that i got a college scholarship because I was a scumbag on probation and there was this ingenious state program to help juvenile delinquants go to college so they paid for my college and my books. Fuck college though. Useless bullshit.
On another drug rip off scam I had, I started crushing effidrine to use for meth. I would crush it up and package it in little baggies. People loved that shit. They came back for more. I was ballin that night too and got all sorts of coke and acid and bags of shit. It ruled. Mo money Mo problems as biggie says and the very next day when I was going to give my friends who had dropped out of the navy for being drug addicts the coke I had, Well on the way My friends and I were taking rips off of a huge bong in the car. It was awesome except that it was a huge ass bong. Not discreet. I complained to the driver about his ginormous bong and when we went to the parking lot of the suburban motel that my navy dropout friends went out we saw the flashing lights and knew we were busted. Now getting busted for pot is one thing. But getting busted for having over 500 dollars cash, being 15, and having cocaine and acid was bonerific for these pigs. They searched me and I kept it cool. They searched me another time, and another. I had that shit stashed good. They searched me a fourth time and that was it. They found it. And my mother had to come and find out that her daughter was a fuckup. I had to do probation and drug tests and don't ask me how I got through it but I did. She stopped sleeping at the scumfuck's house and I got grounded for the first time in my life! 2 weeks. We were total scumbag ravers. Sleeping at crackhouse afterhours where there were these two little boys who would try to fuck us. I mean we were being raped by children in these houses!. Not to mention the sleazoid creepers who were around. Rave Trauma be damned. The upside to this story is that i got a college scholarship because I was a scumbag on probation and there was this ingenious state program to help juvenile delinquants go to college so they paid for my college and my books. Fuck college though. Useless bullshit.
I got to hang out with my friend Ryan this week. He is on a deathtrip after his braindamaging accident. He used to be the sweetest little scumbag who painted hearts all over my bus. But now no he's a raping pillaging scumfuck who is on a deathrage. He was already half braindead before the accident, but now he's absolutely batshit crazy. It's awesome. "C'mon Meg, you my girl, my queen bee, the queen atop my illuminati pyramid, now let's go kidnap someone". I am crazy and impulsive and I have many vices, but I didn't want to include kidnapping in my repoitoire. I hate young people. They're crazy. I'm 32 and I can't take these young amped up lunatics anymore. I like to sit in my apartment and hate people from afar, not encounter them.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
I hate my fucking neighbors. This one is a pathetic waste of life. It's not my fault that i live next door to a fucking neanderthal narc. /what is the point of having a civilization if we are no longer interested in being civilized. He just got out of prison for embezzlement and boy is he a little fucking shitbag. His name is Donald Kubesco. He is a complete piece of shit who hits on all the female roommates (including myself). He is disgusting. Cruises facebook for underaged girls when he's like 59 himself. Mary Kay Latourneau be dammed this guy's got you. Fuck her. He's one of those creepoids on facebook who doesn't have a photo. it's hard when your life has been out of control your whole life to put it in control and not go on a killing spree. This guy really rapes my cock off. I can't fucking stand him. He came into my room stole my vodka and then he fucking tweeked me out about his fucking parole officer coming in and possibly busting my room for smoking pot so maybe I won't go on a fucking killing spree. It's the only thing that keeps me from it. And theeenn I saw him on the street and he told me he'd narc me out to the feds (like the feds care about pot) if it would keep him out of prison. I told him to behead himself. Fucking narc. Fucking honkey. Fucking pederast.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
I got a new pervert that was some freaky ass black dude who sounded young and then blew me off cuz cwouldn't fuck him in the ass. Fucking freak. He wanted to bring coke over too. What a fucking wackjob. He wanted me to do coke so I'd get crazy freaky with him which was not going to happen. I hate young johns. I like old men. They are usually more debilitated and pathetic which makes for an easier session. This young buck wanted everything. In an hours time. He wanted to watch me masturbate, me and my boyfriend have sex, my boyfriend to watch me fuck him in the ass. What a fucking nightmare this horrible pile of shit is. I would have loved to have beat the living shit out of him. Fucking wastes of life. Everywhere around me. I love it. They never manage to stop the anger in me.
Living here sucks. The neighbors are terrible. They are all meddling fucking assholes. There is one particular prick Donald, a 58 year old pedophile who just got out of prison for embezzlement. He is a completely pathetic waste of fucking life. He writes to faraway girls on facebook and falls in love with them and they're always eighteen. He was a friend of mine until he busted up in my room and tweeked me out about his fucking parole officer coming in the next day and us smoking pot. Like the fucking feds care about potheads. He busted into my room and stole my vodka. Then later I saw him and my boyfriend and I said he was still\on our shitlist and he said he'd fucking narc us out for smoking pot to THE FEDS in order to keep his shithead ass out of prison. He sings musical songs and is constantly singing and dancing when he's not in his room contemplating suicide. I used to be worried that he would be hanging himself in his room to the violent classical music he plays but now I'm not so worried. That narc deserves to die. I told him to behead himself because he's pathetic. Donald is a waste of life.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
.My friend has the most famous ass in all the world. Her
name is Sandy Nutts and WOW whattan ass
she has. Holy Cow. That ass is so fresh and big it has it’s own zip code. It takes my breath away. Her name is Sandy
Nutts and it couldn’t be more fitting name. Her hot black dad is a standup
comic and I think his ultimate joke to name his kid Sandy Nutts. It’s great. I
would fuck that dad so hard. Him and an ex crack addict white bitch bred the
greatest ass ever.
Sticking my head in that ass is not unlike a shower after a
rape. Pure extacy. A moment of pure unadulterated exctacy. And she lets people
do it. Stick their heads in her ass. She lets me do it. Oh that ass. It’s
amazing. She works as a paid hooker during the day, massaging men and jacking
them off. That’s her dayjob. That ass is worth money. She got a pair of panties
that say FAMOUS on them and she wears them like everyday. She was super bummed
that she dumped her diva cup accidentally on them and ruined them. There is a photo of her famous ass at a rusty
lazer concert where it was raining men and women and sweaty ass scumfucks
waitin to hump someone’s ass. Well Sandy Nutts wears her Famous panties there
and girl knows how to twerk it with that ass. She is bodacious. She got a
famous photo of her famous ass published.
One time we got into a fight about our stripper name. Dizzy
can’t stand up. It was an epic battle of the Dizzy Can’t stand ups. She’s on a
different wavelength of Dizzy Can’t stand up. Whereas I am the broken down pro
anna stripper who is constantly dizzy and stumbles over things on a regular basis.
That fine ass hustla can work it and it makes me dizzy just hanging out with
her. It was an epic battle of wills like I said. Which one of us is too dizzy
to stand up is yet to be told. I guess she was with a friend and she said she
was Dizzy and couldn’t stand up so her friend said that would be a good
stripper name for her. Fuck that. That’s my stripper name. I live in a world of
sleaze and sweaty pathetic lonely desire. Perverts that pay me to pick my feet.
I have a pervert who is a cripple with cerebral palsy who loves my ass. He can’t
stop texting me. What can you do when a cripple’s sole desire is to have you
beat them?. You do it. He’s a cripple. I would do it with him for free.
Anyways back to Sandy’s famous ass. The other night in a
booze and coke filled frenzy I got to stick my face in that hot ass not once
but twice. I would make a pilgrimage for that ass. I would follow Sandy nutt
like the jews did to escape Egypt. Her ass could part the red sea. It’s just
that big. All she’d have to do is sit on it. That fat ass is the red sea, which
she makes in her diva DIVA CUP every month and it dumps out all over her famous
panties and she hates it.
That ass is all over town. And it makes it all over town and
it sits all over the house. Her ass is so big it could sink the titanic. She
could melt that glacier quickly with the mere girth of that black girl’s ass. I
am so jealous of that bodacious bootie with my measly old pro anna ass hangs
like a sad slave on a holiday Christmas tree next to that ass. A slave hanging
from a Christmas tree. That’s what happens when our asses get together. Yes
Sandy Nutt’s ass is a bodacious mess. She is a good person. She deserves a gold
metal of asses for her ass.
Lilprincess phd. Esq.
We’re going to play a game. Whoever wins it. Wins it. Get
down notecards and write your points down. Let’s make this interesting here.
69 rules to fuck up a party.
Rules rules rules.
1st. rule. Please be sure to punch a hole in that
half dead wall over there. 5 pts.
2nd rule, please feel free to punch anyone in the
room. 10 pts.
3rd rule, please feel free to smoke pot
cigarettes, crack, chase the dragon, anything you want in here. Anything goes.10pts
4th rule. We must all accept that we are fucking
losers, not winners. Depressed wastes of life living to die. 15 points.
5th rule. If you like to humiliate yourself on
stage 6 points.
6th unconsentual sex is worth 8 points
7th gettin freaky on the dance floor 9 points
8th trying to kill yourself 50 points youll win!.
Cmon fat boy I know you want to do it. It’s like Jack Kevorkian. Life doesn’t
always turn out as you planned does it? Huh. No don’t do it. I’m kidding. It’s
a joke.
9th hate and anger get you ten points
10th hot dog sucking gets you 5 points
11th little boy fucking gets you 80 points.
You’re a fucking militia. You could do it. You could. I’m talking to you you
could.
12th packin heat so they say gets you 60 points.
There’s never anything better to bring to a comedy show than a gun.
13th drawing dicks all over everyone gets you 10
points. Especially towards the butt. Drawing dicks on anyone will get you
points.
14th guys and girls who are in this for the pussy
10 points. If you go home and fuck after this 50 points. That’s as much as
suicide!!!! Think about it folks.
15.th If this pathetic perverse sideshow sucks that bad pull
your eyeballs out and set them on fire 18 points.
16. If you blow a chance to fuck a girl/guy. He’ll fuck you
good. With his cock. Till he’s done. Negative 27 points. You’ll make him wish he had two dicks.
17. Getting Paris Hilton here and making her fuck all of us
28 points.
18. the biggest vagina here 16 points.
19. If you vomit 12 points.
20. Llck a lady’s Vay g-
21. Black people interrupting 15 points. Make the experience
better. Black people bring the party right Darius?.
22. Making me piss my pants 20 points
23. going to sleep or passing out 12 points.
24. pissing your pants 25 points.
25. Stay late on a Wednesday. Like anyone here has jobs.
Just fucking sleep until you wake up 12 points.
26. If you feel like
you’re at an aa meeting in a basement 2 points.
27. Waking up with a dead body in your trunk (no shit I
heard this story at an aa meeting) and you don’t know where it came from. 75
points
28. Shoving a prom baby in a garbage dumpster 20 points.
29. Burning your name on the surface of the moon 40 points.
30. killing a sober person. They are the most annoying
people on the planet. They’re all on a fucking rampage and they suck. 30 points
31. Dropkicking a baby. 27 points.
32. having a mental disorder. 18 points
33. beating the retarded 16 points.
34.don’t laugh. Laughing too much or too little will cost
you 17 points.
35. you come up here and rape your dreams 6 points.
36. if you always wanted to be on the oc 8 points.
37. if you feel like you are listening to the babblings of a
mental patient 5 points.
38. if you jam 4 rubix cubes up your ass while you remain
erect and bleed all over the floor 5
39. if you love the 3 f’s food fun and fisting.
40. if you ejaculate your central nervous system into a
pinball machine and make it bleed. 45 points.
41. If you wanna fuck a black man 12 points. One of those
ghetto rich prepaid cellphone bitches.
42. 2 secure guys cornholing on stage 15 points.
45. Teabagging gets you 20 points.
46. Beatin your dick hard because you’re a lonely pathetic
pervert 10 pts.
47. bringin the pain Top gun style. 21.
48. you just got parolled yesterday 25 points.
49. you laugh your cunt off. Let it fall on the floor an
pick it back up 19 points.
50. fuck a crippled person 23 points.
60.Hit a bitch in the cunt with a shovel. 15 points.
61. if you have a name for your penis, a p.o. box and an
address. 15 points.
62. If you shit into a bag 20 points.
63. if you’re one of those clean guys who piss in the
shower. -9 points
64. If you have a name for your dick. 12 points.
65. if you wax your cunt and you’re a white girl just get
with a black guy he don’t give a fuck -15 points.
66. you have pending court cases-10 points.
67. If you’re wearing an ankle bracelet-12 points.
68.if you hate white people-30 points
69. If you’re a black person who named their daughter
porcha-20 points
70. if you get raped and make a paaaarrrty- 13 points.
71. If you get a shower afterwards- -2 points
74. you’ve smuggled drugs in your ass-15 points
game to get a party started.
Lilprincess phd. Esq.
We’re going to play a game. Whoever wins it. Wins it. Get
down notecards and write your points down. Let’s make this interesting here.
69 rules to fuck up a party.
Rules rules rules.
1st. rule. Please be sure to punch a hole in that
half dead wall over there. 5 pts.
2nd rule, please feel free to punch anyone in the
room. 10 pts.
3rd rule, please feel free to smoke pot
cigarettes, crack, chase the dragon, anything you want in here. Anything goes.10pts
4th rule. We must all accept that we are fucking
losers, not winners. Depressed wastes of life living to die. 15 points.
5th rule. If you like to humiliate yourself on
stage 6 points.
6th unconsentual sex is worth 8 points
7th gettin freaky on the dance floor 9 points
8th trying to kill yourself 50 points youll win!.
Cmon fat boy I know you want to do it. It’s like Jack Kevorkian. Life doesn’t
always turn out as you planned does it? Huh. No don’t do it. I’m kidding. It’s
a joke.
9th hate and anger get you ten points
10th hot dog sucking gets you 5 points
11th little boy fucking gets you 80 points.
You’re a fucking militia. You could do it. You could. I’m talking to you you
could.
12th packin heat so they say gets you 60 points.
There’s never anything better to bring to a comedy show than a gun.
13th drawing dicks all over everyone gets you 10
points. Especially towards the butt. Drawing dicks on anyone will get you
points.
14th guys and girls who are in this for the pussy
10 points. If you go home and fuck after this 50 points. That’s as much as
suicide!!!! Think about it folks.
15.th If this pathetic perverse sideshow sucks that bad pull
your eyeballs out and set them on fire 18 points.
16. If you blow a chance to fuck a girl/guy. He’ll fuck you
good. With his cock. Till he’s done. Negative 27 points. You’ll make him wish he had two dicks.
17. Getting Paris Hilton here and making her fuck all of us
28 points.
18. the biggest vagina here 16 points.
19. If you vomit 12 points.
20. Llck a lady’s Vay g-
21. Black people interrupting 15 points. Make the experience
better. Black people bring the party right Darius?.
22. Making me piss my pants 20 points
23. going to sleep or passing out 12 points.
24. pissing your pants 25 points.
25. Stay late on a Wednesday. Like anyone here has jobs.
Just fucking sleep until you wake up 12 points.
26. If you feel like
you’re at an aa meeting in a basement 2 points.
27. Waking up with a dead body in your trunk (no shit I
heard this story at an aa meeting) and you don’t know where it came from. 75
points
28. Shoving a prom baby in a garbage dumpster 20 points.
29. Burning your name on the surface of the moon 40 points.
30. killing a sober person. They are the most annoying
people on the planet. They’re all on a fucking rampage and they suck. 30 points
31. Dropkicking a baby. 27 points.
32. having a mental disorder. 18 points
33. beating the retarded 16 points.
34.don’t laugh. Laughing too much or too little will cost
you 17 points.
35. you come up here and rape your dreams 6 points.
36. if you always wanted to be on the oc 8 points.
37. if you feel like you are listening to the babblings of a
mental patient 5 points.
38. if you jam 4 rubix cubes up your ass while you remain
erect and bleed all over the floor 5
39. if you love the 3 f’s food fun and fisting.
40. if you ejaculate your central nervous system into a
pinball machine and make it bleed. 45 points.
41. If you wanna fuck a black man 12 points. One of those
ghetto rich prepaid cellphone bitches.
42. 2 secure guys cornholing on stage 15 points.
45. Teabagging gets you 20 points.
46. Beatin your dick hard because you’re a lonely pathetic
pervert 10 pts.
47. bringin the pain Top gun style. 21.
48. you just got parolled yesterday 25 points.
49. you laugh your cunt off. Let it fall on the floor an
pick it back up 19 points.
50. fuck a crippled person 23 points.
60.Hit a bitch in the cunt with a shovel. 15 points.
61. if you have a name for your penis, a p.o. box and an
address. 15 points.
62. If you shit into a bag 20 points.
63. if you’re one of those clean guys who piss in the
shower. -9 points
64. If you have a name for your dick. 12 points.
65. if you wax your cunt and you’re a white girl just get
with a black guy he don’t give a fuck -15 points.
66. you have pending court cases-10 points.
67. If you’re wearing an ankle bracelet-12 points.
68.if you hate white people-30 points
69. If you’re a black person who named their daughter
porcha-20 points
70. if you get raped and make a paaaarrrty- 13 points.
71. If you get a shower afterwards- -2 points
74. you’ve smuggled drugs in your ass-15 points
Sunday, August 19, 2012
I do domination sex work and I have a slave with cerebral
palsy. Yes he has cerebral palsy and is very excitable. He sends me text
messages all the time about how naughty he Is and lots of smilie faces. I think
that he is so excited that someone would beat the shit out of a retard. Well he
found the right girl. I’ll hop on that retard in a drug fueled frenzy. I’m gonna wail the shit out him. I have yet
to meet him. He’s so stoked on me. I wonder if he wants me to go there though.
That he’s a crippled bitch. What do I do about this. I’ve never had a crippled
client before. Crippled humiliation is fucked. But he’s so fucken stoked.
That happens soon. But I can’t fucking wait. I’ll beat up a
retard. I don’t care. Especially since this is what he really fucking wants.
Like more than anything. Someone to beat up his retarded ass. This is why he’s so excitable and this seems
to be the single thing he wants in his life. To be spit on and humiliated. Why would
you want to pass that up?. I’d dropkick
a retard into the lake if it meant it would make him happy. A retard is the
highest compliment I could pay someone. I work with autistic savants and I love them all… fucken can’t button
their own pants but they can make awesome art.
Today I had to explain the months of the year to my
boyfriend. Fucking retard. He did not know the months of the year. I love the
retarded. He asked me what month it was and when summer and fall were. It was
like teaching a child. The retarded are great.
I went to Rocky Horror Picture Show at midnight the other
night expecting a drug fueled frenzy of a midnight movie like it used to
be. Not only did it suck, they checked
my bag. They took my drink and it fucking sucked. To sit through that annoying
torture of a show stone cold sober when you’re a fucking alcoholic is nothing
short of the 7th rung of hell. Fucking retards. Theatre scum.
I got some yogart on the bed and my boyfriend got angry. He
said that it was gross. There’s cum all
over the bed. What the fuck does he care?
I was a scumbag. A real scumfuck. Hence the name Scumbalina.
Scumbalina was an obvious name for me. I was a methadone addict who lived la
vida loca. I was rockin and rollin on drugs and I was amped up to go. Mike made
me a mascot for Gays in the military, Daddy McPaddy’s rockin ass cumbag
explosion of a band. I remember they wanted to cover an elo song elo song and they could not (very ambitious)
and a band member cried because they could not do it. Yes a male band member cried. Fucking
pussies. I used to run around mostly naked and in a
drug, lonely, hell fueled frenzy and toss out pornography to the audience. Mike was this older sober guy and it made no
sense to me why he took such an interest in me. But he did. What the fuck was
it about me that he liked?. This older
sober very interesting fellow. I guess it was because I’m crazy. Or a nut
magnet. He sensed the nut in me. One or the other. I guess he used to do drugs
and understood. He was a good guy. Old I thought but good.
Talk about rock and roll changing your life. Well the
collaboration with Daddy McP. Startest one of the most fun times of my life. When he and Brian Collins started Gays in the
military and made My character, scumbalina embodied me and I embodied her. A
drugged out crazy naked bitch who gave out mountains of porno, left over from
mr.skin’s bombardment of tit flicks, and it made people extatic. Scumbalina
made people exctatic. FREE PORNO!!!! Of course they were exctatic. I was a
scummy naked fucked up pregnant looking crazy person.
The amount of methadone I was on when I was scumbalina made
for constipation which meant impacted shit. The impacted shit made me look 100%
preggers which made for some interesting banter, about me being pregnant on my
drug fueled journey. It was fucking hot.
A skinny preggers chick. I played it off to my advantage. I would write
messages on my stomach and show my baby off with pride. Especially during the
rock shows.
The methadone chic of Scumbalina only helped her to get
girls err girls. I remember during a rather rauncheous party taking a shower
naked with Mike’s girlfriend at the time who had a beautiful gigantic nose and
wonderful nips. He sure knows how to pick em. Also in the shower was the
hottest chick with a dick that existed
It was hot almost heavean. A
great release from my life of filth and degredation. I got clean in that shower. Julie the trannie was on fire. We were all
nuts, in a drug addled dream, in the shower together. It was like a wet dream.
Or a shower you take after you get raped. It was exctacy.
Scumbalina was a release for this filth that I was living
through. Injecting methadone daily and attempting life. She was me. And is me.
A furious scumbag and I miss her. Rock
and roll made her deadly. I think if I wasn’t handing out porn at the time to
greatful pieces of shit I would have been murdering animals or children. An
outlet for me. An escape from the torturous hell I was putting my body through.
I remember my cohort and sleaze partner in crime
who had the biggest natural tits of anyone I’ve ever seen. Alix Lakehurst. Her
real name was Alix Snell, an ugly name which was only changed by McP to be her
porn name. Yes he kinda got her into porn. A release from her dark world as a
law assistant as I can remember. She turned to porn. At the ripe age of 32. It
was amazing. She would dance naked on stage with me as I sucked her nipples in
some kind of freak show frenzy
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
I, at the age of 31, have become INCONTINANT, MEANING I PISS MYSELF. THANK GOD FOR CAT BOXES!
HOLY SHIT.... I NEVER THOUGHT THIS COULD HAPPEN, BUT I THINK I'VE BECOME INCONTINENT.... MEANING I PISS MY PANTS.... AND NOT WHILE DRINKING.... I have long made fun of pee pads and women pissing their pants and wearing diapers, and making fun of commercials with younger hot women talking about how they piss their pants with a shit eating grin (no pun intended) on their faces, and saying that it is NOT POSSIBLE for someone that young AND PRETTY to piss their pants like all the time, but like it's totally happened... One time two days ago, which I blew off as like an "OOP'S I PISSED MY PANTS IN A GROCERY STORE" moment (sorta like an AHA MOMENT except you piss your pants).... the story with that is that I was in a dollar store, and I had to piss, and I have long since been able to hold pee in (and herein lies the cause of the problem i believe).... As a child, I would yell at my mother for constantly having to piss at places like amusement parks and (OH YEA. DUH) WATERPARKS (uuh go in the fucking pool duh?) when i wanted to ride the rides.... I was ALWAYS AMAZING AT HOLDING MY PISS IN... Then, as I grew older, I would yell at my friends for constantly having to find a bathroom when we were out, and later as I became a degenerate and so did the people I was hanging around with, berated them for constantly having to stop to not find a bathroom but just sit down and piss in an alley or (the best one ever, thanks NATALEE) was on a park bench in New Orleans made of wood planks in which we both were wearing skirts and proceeded to just sit down and piss through the planks.... Natalee Decker has to PISS ALL THE TIME and it totally annoyed me.... But like I said, I was just living in Oakland in a basement, and the bathroom is upstairs OUTSIDE THE HOUSE and with PEOPLE WHO I DON'T LIKE AND DON'T LIKE ME so I neglected to ever use it.... This would cause me to save up gallons of piss in my bladder and not relieve myself, except in cups and bottles, which i would overflow and miss.... Also, living on the bus proved to be difficult when having to piss... I was in public (not like I care, but I don't want to get arrested by the OAKLAND POLICE DEPARTMENT FOR SOMETHING RIDICULOUS AGAIN.... JUDGING BY THE SCALE AND SEVERITY OF THE CRIME OF MY PREVIOUS ARREST, PISSING IN PUBLIC WOULD ENTAIL A BILLION DOLLAR BAIL but i digress) and having to use cups and overfill them and stuff.... So I learned to just fucking HOLD IT THE FUCK IN.... I remember someone staying on the bus with me watched me fill a two liter and was like HOLY SHIT MEG HOW DID YOU DO THAT?. It was normal for me... I often could tap 40 bottles, 2 liters, and 3 gallon jugs.... It was because I was holding it in for so fucking long to wait for the time that I was either not depressed enough to get out of the bed and not piss myself (yea I'm actually not that lazy to piss myself in the bed... thought about it many times... more times than you'd imagine, but i made myself get up, foregoing the option of lying in my rancid piss for the rest of eternity, thank you). Living in the basement was annoying because I'd often be watching a good movie with my boyfriend and he'd have to piss and I'd yell at him not to cuz he was going to miss something good.... And I'd be like JUST FUCKING HOLD YOUR PISS. I DO. I was proud of it.... I made anyone who decided to relieve themselves feel like a stepped on piece of shit for doing so. And I was proud of my talent... But I am writing this to say, especially to those of you who may be young and be like me, an idiot who berades the folks who choose to relieve themselves during a good part of a movie, or forego a spot in line at an amusement park in order to empty their bladder.... HOLD IT THE FUCK IN.... I'D ALWAYS SAY. And now, it has come back to haunt me... The other day, I was at the dollar store and the urge to piss came on so fucking strong. I had never felt anything like it.... I am usually warned hours before I have to piss, so my lazy ass can try to get to a recepticle, and delay it as much as possible.... Well I had to piss so bad, and I knew they wouldn't let me use their toilet in the dollar store but I asked anyhow, and they said they didn't have one so i RAN LIKE HELL across the street, holding my pee hole, to the grocery store, and asked a hispanic employee where the bathroom was... she looked confused.... I yelled, in complete desperation, clutching my throbbing piss hole EL BANO!!!!!!!!!!! and she merely pointed to the back of the store.... It was coming.... I could feel it.... and I ran to the back of the store, into the stockroom where the bano usually is, and I COULDN'T FUCKING FIND IT, even ascended a flight of stairs with ease to find MORE FUCKING GROCERIES AND A CONFUSED LOOKING MEXICAN.... I ran down the stairs and then it happened, the warm piss just streamed down my leg and it only lasted like 5 seconds, no biggie, but I've had bladder infections before, and I know how pissing feels when you are conflicted with one of those, like in Nightmare in Elm Street 4 i think when the dog pisses fire (I always think of that... It's so badass!), but this did not feel like that... It didn't hurt... it was just.... relief.... and then sheer terror at the fact that i pissed myself without being drunk, and then relief again that it wasn't a lot of piss, and then hysterical laughing when i looked at the little puddle of piss on the floor and i walked away picturing somebody discovering it and trying to picture their reaction.... Was it a Chiuhuahua?. (yea, cuz it's a MEXICAN GROCERY STORE).... But that one, I wrote off. I had not pissed myself in years, like ten, since I was in my early twenties and I used to drink and piss myself nightly.... but that's another story. and that was a loooong time ago. But then tonite, just now, it happened again.... It was not a nightmare.... I was right here on my computer entering something into my blog and I got the urge again, very well knowing what I did a mere 2 days ago and trying to avoid that situation like the plague. I'll just get another few words in, I thought, just a few.... and then I opened the door of my sro to run to the bathroom and SOMEONE WAS IN THE SHOWER.... fucking I HATE PEOPLE WHO TAKE SHOWERS, AND I ALWAYS HAVE.... so I turned to my piss cup in the room, a water bottle with a wide mouth and a top that my mother just gave me and I immediately, upon seeing it, thought PISS CUP, PERFECT SCORE!. It was half full already, but I would use it, and overflow might just happen, but i did have some accessable plastic cups in the room to transfer (oh yea I used to be able to turn my bladder on and off too), so I quickly unscrewed the top, and the smell of rancid piss hit me in the face.... I remembered promising myself I wouldn't start pissing in bottles and cups in THIS APARTMENT. THINGS WERE GOING TO CHANGE. BUT THIS CUP WAS FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY, and this, my friends, was a dire emergency... I barely got my pants half down and was unscrewing the top of the wide mouthed bottle thinking i'd barely make it BUT IT HAPPENED AGAIN.... And in my apartment no less... Just thank god there was a cat box underneath the shelf with the water bottle.... So all the piss ran into my pants and the cat box.... Then I was like, OH YEA A CAT BOX.... I DON'T EVER HAVE TO EVEN USE THE BATHROOM HERE!. Yea, thank goodness for cat litter, but it is NOT A SOLUTION.... PEOPLE (I GUESS?) SHOULD NOT BE PISSING IN THEIR CAT'S LITTER BOXES (although there is the most pleasant of fragrances AFTER I did it, never experienced that, they sure have gone far with cat litter, how come they don't do that with human toilets?) but yea WE SHOULD NOT???? USE CAT BOXES. Well I don't know the cat box has it's benefits, but speaking as the FEMME DE SOCIETIE that i may be, or as Anne Landers would say people shouldn't be pissing in their cat boxes (I'm going to debate that notion now in another essay).... The point is that at 31, I think that I, Meg McCarville have become incontinent.... and now the person who once smelt it, has in fact delt it... I made fun of incontinent women, pee pads, depends, etc. and thought I was IMMUNE to incontinance.... Well, NO ONE IS, AN YOU SHOULDN'T PLAY WITH YOUR BLADDER.... PISS WHEN YOU HAVE TO.... LISTEN TO MOUTHS OF BABES.... I was pottytrained by one year old!!!!. Now, at 31, all that talent has gone, for lack of a better term, down the toilet.... THANK GOD FOR CATBOXES!!!!.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
call to action... description of my future plans to start my pseudo "doomsday cult". and plans for my underground bunker.
HOLY SHIT.... Since I have returned and have been staying at Mom's house, with cable, I am AMAZED at the INSANE AMOUNT OF DOOMSDAY SHOWS ON TELEVISON.... One of the best, on the History Channel, is called "Preppers" (the new name for people prepping for the end of the world)... It profiled one particular elderly genius that purchaced like 32 schoolbuses and cut them up and buried them eighteen feet underground and has made a bunker that can hold up to like 500 people comfortably, for a year, without EVER having to come up.... (air filtration systems, etc. CRAZY SHIT YOU'D NEVER THINK OF). He's on his way to heaven, old as hell, but he built it to HELP PEOPLE.... FASCINATING.... There are soooo many like him too.... I'm about to purchace a small camper which I will do the same with, but I originally just wanted the camper.... I really do wanna see the end of the world.... Not from underground either.... BUT if you wanna help me with this... or wanna be bunkered up in a 13 ft. "canned ham" underground trailer.... please contact me.... haha... this thing is sooo awesome... Also I need a place in Chicago to park it for a few months.... Before I find a place to start digging.... Oh and this isn't a crock... I found this amazing thing on CL BEFORE I LEFT CALI, and am going to check it out and purchace it for an amazingly cheap price in the next few days.... I just need a place to park it while I prep it.... and not on the street cuz it's not safe. it's small. 13 ft. but if I follow this fellow's plan who I plan to contact, it could become bigger and bigger.... and would fucking rule to have a "secret" underground bunker... If I can keep my big stupid mouth shut about it.... But yea... I need to recruit now... And I need people who know about air filtration especially.... I've done much research about gas masks, food, water, preservation, alternative energy, etc. But yea I need this for the "doomsday cult" I'm organizing as well.... Also looking for an educated, well spoken, non manipulative, HOTTT, fervant, and convincing preacher as well... All wingnuts and otherwise welcome to join me, but I need someone with a semblance of "sanity" for a preacher... I'm not it... And no matter what you think, it will be nonviolent, and there will be no "mass suicide" intended, unfortunately.... but if you do wanna kill yourself, you can... I understand....
Monday, April 23, 2012
WHY I CAN'T STAY WITH THE 'RENTS. DAD'S DEAD BUT MOM IS DRIVING ME MAD. I LOVE YOU MOM. BUT WRITING A LETTER IS A PERFECTLY NORMAL THING TO DO...
Mom is BEGINNING to drive me nuts.... Today my dolls came in the mail and one soap bottle emptied, so she HOSED THEM OFF!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S FUCKING SOAP!!!!!!!! HOSED THEM!!!!!!!!!. Kept it cool for that one... But THEN While she's still up and watching a movie, I proceeded to print out probably one of the most important letters I've ever written (to the old ppl that I LIVED IN HELL WITH) it's on my blog... and it's pretty atrocious.... but she get's mad and starts yelling about having to sleep..... I said... I'm just printing out something before you go to sleep.... She then gives me the "well you don't have to get up in the morning" speech which I've heard a BILLION TIMES AD NAUSEUM.... and I have YET to wake her ONCE since I've been here.... I was printing a letter and then that's it.... back in my room.... Then she says to me... WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING ANYHOW.... ALL ANYONE'S GOING TO DO IS READ THAT AND THROW IT OUT... And I'm like I highly doubt it... Would you like to read it mom... completely discounting the fuckinng horrorshow I went through living there.... Then she looks at me as if I TOTALLY LOST IT... LEAVES... comes back in.... I say excuse me, but do you know the purpose of writing a letter... she says I'VE NEVER WRITTEN A LETTER... I say "you've never written a letter". hmmm.... alright.... well I am sorry for you but I usually do communicate via the INTERNET but this time it needs to be written and sent.... Sorry the idea of writing a letter is so FOREIGN AND INSANE to you... but the post office exists for a reason... Letters go back and forth everyday... (in fact she did write me a letter for Christmas... like about ten words, but still very nice).... but then she starts crying in the other room.... I was like shaking with anger... She tells me YOU NEED TO GET OVER THIS.... I start crying saying.... I've been home for LESS THAN A WEEK!!!!!! YOU WEREN'T THERE.... YOU BAILED ME OUT OF JAIL... THANK YOU.... THANKS FOR LETTING ME STAY HERE.... BUT THIS LETTER IS MY WAY OF GETTING THROUGH IT AND IF YOU EXPECT ME TO RETURN "fine" YOU ARE CRAZY.... I already secured an apartment 3 doors down from my old one before I got here... A single room occupancy with a bunch of DRUNK MEXICANS which is EXACTLY WHERE I WANT TO BE.... MY LANDLORD HAS ONE TOOTH (again all this is on my blog). was gonna stay at Mortville and did this weekend.... and it's a shame cuz she lives in Roselle half a mile away from a roller rink I went to as a kid and has always looked abandoned, but is in fact open on the weekends, 3 adult bookstores, 3 "massage" parlours, 2 strip clubs, 2 tattoo shops... It's fucking great.... but I can't take it anymore.... really what the fuck?. I'm angry.... I got a really nice welcome back to Chicago.... even saw Vanessa and Ossian, and like EVERYONE except you... and a few other people that I hardly ever see.... but we NEED TO HANG OUT.... EEEW... and I keep running into ppl in the burbs from my jr. high/high school/grammar school either... AND ALSO THE BIGGEST FUCKUPS LIKE ME... DRUG ADDICTS AND THE LIKE.... well former ones.... WHO ARE MARRIED WITH BABIES.... and CONGRADULATIONS TO THEM.... BUT it personally is freaking me out and that's why I stay in my bubble in Pilsen with the rest of the unmarriable.... (even tho I know you have a wife, but you're different). So I have keys for this weekend, but I don't know if I can make it close to then here... I love my mother, but she has started to drive me nuts and said the most hurtful things to me tonite.... and justifies it by "I have done so much for you" and she has done a TON but just because you've helped someone does not mean that you can treat them like shit.... WHICH IS WHY I GOT MY OWN FUCKING PLACE CUZ I WANT NO ONE HOLDING IT OVER MY FUCKING HEAD AS TO "OH I'M LETTING YOU STAY HERE.... BLAH BLAH.... I'VE been through enough of that in California, culminating with getting my head slammed into a concrete wall on the last night and my ear bleeding and my heart beating in my head for hours and hours and an escape from that house in which I had to hide until I found my fucking cat who wanders all over the neighborhood and got the fuck out.... My mother and the residents of that house (again reference the letter on the blog) are soooo lucky I did not do something unspeakable, except wage a noise war on them the last night I was there.... which ruled and was stopped by my partner.... longer story...
Friday, April 20, 2012
R.I.P. DADDY. 4-20. 3 year anniversary since the world lost an AMAZING man.
R.I.P. THOMAS MCCARVILLE. 4-20... You died three years ago... You have been and remain a constant influence in my life... I really have always wanted to memorialize you with a tattoo, but I know how much you hated my tattoos... I love you sooo Much. He died in a nursing home that he was FORCED to be in after wanting his gun near him and a hospice worker moving it and him getting angry and being too helpless to get out of his chair, he DEMANDED it, and she called the cops... Dad, being the intelligent and darkly humourous person he was told the police when they came that SHE in fact had a gun, and the woman was tackled and put in a police car for 45 minutes until she could explain the actual story. In the Nursing home, Dad was drugged and ABUSED for three months until he died weighing a mere 120 pounds... Daddy, I love you forever... Thank you for bailing me out of Jail in California from beyond the grave... I know you are watching over me. Yes, I just became aware that the $1500 that my mother had supplied to get me out of the women's prison I was in in California for Domestic Violence (another joke and TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE) Dublin, Pleasontin (sp?)... I was arrested in March, but my mother began to recieve a suppliment starting Jan. This year (after she turned 65) from social security, a "survivor benifit", hah... for "surviving" the marraige to my father?. Idk... They had been divorced for twenty years before he passed... Her first check for $1,500 exactly came in March... I had to call her to bail me out and knew that she did not have that kind of money and hoped she could come up with it easily... It came too easily and I really wondered why and how... She then told me the other day the story... It was easy b/c of the suppliment she recieved as a result of my father's passage... This is really odd... No one knows why or how the suppliment came to be, or why she recieved it... But the first one was received the MONTH I needed it, and as a result of my father. When arrested, I called upon my dead father for help... He supplied it... When I was in jail the guard said "SOMEONE MUST LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN BAILED OUT". I know my mother does and I do not discount her role in this b/c I know she would have done whatever she had to to get the money.... but she didn't have to because of what she had received THAT EXACT MONTH for the EXACT AMOUNT 3 years AFTER MY FATHER'S PASSAGE, as a result of his passage.... Someone must love me?. I know you are somewhere Dad, and I will always love you. I know you are watching over me, but ahem, hopefully not at certain times... C'mon... I know we have a weird relationship, but like some things, it would just be weird to see that you were watching me.... I miss you and think about you daily and still am unable to go into a Value City ever because of our many misadventures there... Disney World as well... Even the water park is not the same without you... Your anger, intelligence, and ability to constantly survive and command respect in Every situation, ability to drink enough alcohol to kill three men and not even pass out, sheer stubborness, bizarre off color dark as hell sense of humour, and finally unreal fearlessness and ability to tell ANYONE AT ANYTIME TO FUCK OFF and to always stick to your beliefs are just a few of your superhuman qualities that I try to eminate and you have instilled in me and you continue and always have been a constant hero and ROLE MODEL for me... I hope you are well interred in the Veteran's Cemetary, another one of your amazing accomplishments, and whether or not it was intentional your final FUCK YOU to your time in the military and a tribute to your cunning ability to fuck with the system.... I love you dearly and miss you daily... Thank you sooo much for bailing me out of jail.... I try to live in your memory as much as I can... I hope you're proud of me!. I'll try not to get anymore tattoo's!. I dedicate much of my life to you, weather that is a good or bad thing... I MISS U DADDY... I know you are somewhere fucking shit up though...
Love,
Your "Little Princess" Meg.
R.I.P. THOMAS MCCARVILLE. "the wolf".
8-22-35 to 4-20-09... and on and on and on and on....
MIND CONTROL AND ROSEANNE BARR AND "ROSEANNE" IN GENERAL.
It's been a long time... too long... I can tell you do your fair share of internet ranting because of your eloquence and fervor... i suggest you write more... Do you have a blog?. Your sheer anger alone and the fact that you are one of my few friends from the burbs who are NOT in a long term relationship or HAVE A HIGH PAYING STEADY JOB (maybe you do, but you hate it it sounds like) or are eech... (no offense to the wonderful parents and happily married people I knew in High School, I do wish you the best, just obviously weirdly not jealous, but just can't understand it still... I feel like I'm still in high school, and I am well aware I act like I am still five years old). I digress. Jim... on the subject of you and a woman... I have long told you you resembled the Great JOHN GOODMAN, which has always been, and I am confused as to wheather or not you know this, the highest of compliments, because I LOVE that man, his role in THE BIG LEBOWSKI was like the best thing ever, only SECOND TO ROSEANNE, WHICH REMAINS TO BE ONE OF THE BEST SHOWS ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH... EVER... NUFF SAID... John Goodman was FAT during that time... I mean the show WAS ABOUT FAT ASSES and I think they were FORCE FEEDING ROSEANNE AND GOODMAN like fois gras ducks or whatever, BUT That reference had nothing to do with obesity... rather admiration... your romance with narcotics mirrored mine and I'm sure we have many stories to share and that's all I will say on this public forum... And IT NEVER DOES END DOES IT?. (although I do smoke e cigs now, and I haven't injected in seven years... but still nearly cum when my blood is drawn... good thing the junk in Chicago sux I heard... I DON'T WANNA KNOW... I'm almost completely off of what started as a 600 mg. dose of methadone a day... enough to kill two full grown men... BUT TO ADDRESS YOUR PROBLEMS WITH WOMEN, and your resemblence to John Goodman... You sir, deserve NOTHING but the most AMAZING FORCE OF LIFE for a partner... She is out there, and you will find her... You deserve nothing less than ROSEANNE BARR (WAIT WAIT... JUST LET ME FINISH) who remains one of my female idols from CHILDHOOD TO THIS DAY... SHE MANAGED TO SINGLEHANDELDLY PIONEER AND MAKE A SHOW ABOUT FATASSES LIVING IN THE BURBS A NUMBER ONE SHOW FOR CLOSE TO TEN YEARS UNTIL (and I HONESTLY BELIEVE THIS IS A CONSPIRACY... ALSO WAIT...) and I don't know if you are familiar with any of the show but I know the WHOLE RUN... until the plot changed and the ROSEANNE FAMILY won the lottery and got thin and Dan, John Goodman's Character, had a heart attack and died... After they stopped farming the main actors and force feeding them and weight loss came in... THE SHOW SUCKED AND WAS OFF THE AIR... ROSEANNE BARR... LOOK HER UP ON YOUTUBE... REMAINS TO ONE OF THE MOST FEARLESS INTELLIGENT FEMALE FORCES OF NATURE TO DATE.... CHECK IT OUT ON YOUTUBE IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME.... SHE IS A CONSPIRACY THEORIST, who speaks out against THE ABUSE AND MIND CONTROL SHE SUFFERED at various wingnut (and I say that self identifying as a wingnut) conventions across the country)..... SHE IS FEARLESS... Whatever you want to call them.... the powers that be, the illuminatis, the NWO, reptilian shapeshifters, the skull and bones, secret societies, etc. had a hold of her.... she was farmed as a child... there is a history of this and it's happening right now... (youtube cathy o'brian and watch her speak, a close friend of ROSEANNE BARR), I will not go on about this particularly distubing and mostly unknown truth about the farming and subsequent mind control and continued mk ultra experiments inflicted on infants from birth that the government takes from mothers that put their babies up for adoption or buy or farm from birth, but we can talk more about this... Disney code has a lot to do with it... childhood trauma, MPD (multiple personality disorder or dissociative personality disorder) is caused by severe childhood trauma in which the brain compartmentalizes itself into different pieces and they can only be brought out by different triggers... the triggers being certain words, sounds, etc. DISNEY WAS A NAZI, and we stole the technology from the nazis after ww2, and Joseph Mingels the MAD NAZI SCIENTIST had been experimenting with halocaust victims for years with this, but after America beat Germany in WWII, we took that and (think about it) Disney was rising to fame right then and used its code on the children they inflicted unspeakable torture on and continue to, as well as the subliminal messages in Disney movies, Disneyland, and Disney World (the "happiest place on earth" and one of my favorite places of all time honestly) but a place that is chocked full of surveillance, subliminal messages, secret identities, and the like... I am getting off on a tangent here and I think you may know yourself a bit about this particular "conspiracy theory" but you sound like you have researched the illuminatis by the way you speak and sorry to spring all this wingnut shit on you, but it IS THE TRUTH... It's going on today as well of course.... ANY DISNEY STAR, more recently Britney Spears (who was sold by her trashy parents), and Hannah Montanna/Miley Cyrus who ACKNOWLEDGES the MPD she has and even more recent ones than that ZACK/CODY, it gets really fucking weird... I try not to pay attention to those shows, but some early mornings the television will be on and I'll catch them and be like HOLY SHIT, MIND CONTROL, DISNEY.... happening in the rap industry... oh god... all over... could go on and on... but If you don't and want to know, youtube Cathy O'brian, and then ROSEANNE BARR recently.... She is sooo much of a "wackjob" right now that TLC I think did a reality show on her called "Roseanne's Nuts". A parody on the fact that she is now a recluse who has her own farm where one thing she harvests is nuts, but obviously making a mockery of the fact that she now will speak out against the trauma she suffered as a child and the mind control inflicted by her... The series is now off the air. I tried to watch it for like 10 minutes once... was unwatchable... No DISNEY CHARM... But before I went on my wingnut apocolaptic rant about mind control, and that's just such a sliver of the whole picture, I said you deserved nothing less than ROSEANNE BARR. AND THAT MY FRIEND IS A GREAT COMPLIMENT COMING FROM ME AS SHE IS A GENIUS AND ONE OF THE GREATEST FEMALES IN EXISTANCE TODAY... PLUS SHE'S NOT FAT ANYMORE.... And I know fat chicks suck, so like I meant a SKINNY ROSEANNE, NOT FOIS GRAS FORCE FED, but a wackjob of a lady who is intelligent and fearless who you deserve and you will get... I have forever appreciated the eloquent comments you have left on my fbook page, and am excited that you follow me... Feel free to call me anytime, (510) 712-8481. I will be living in Pilsen and you are always welcome, although my ceiling is only 6 feet, and you may have to crowch... now that I am back, I am systematically contacting all of my beloveds since I have had prison time, mental hospital time, and insane oakland basement insanity time to reflect on who are the REAL people I SHOULD be talking to and who is worthless but I will remain on a superficial level with.... Please keep in contact... I also have an art residence with a bunch of Autistic Savants at the Chicago Cultural Center across the street from Millenium Park (creepy huh?) where I make fucked up dolls, and it's the greatest thing ever, and a pending book deal with feralhouse.com check that website if you want to find out the MOST INTERESTING SHIT EVER.... I'm not lying.... I know you've been reading tidbits of my life cuz you chime in now and then, so I'm totally not making this up, but yea... YOU'LL DO GOOD... YOU DESERVE SKINNY ROSEANNE!!!!. Sorry to be out of contact for so long and say Hi to Joe Kuczma (?) for me as I think you are still in contact with him and he is also one of my favorites.....
XOXO.
MEG.
"CALL ME WOMYN ONCE... SHAME ON ME... CALL ME WOMYN TWICE, AND YOU DESERVE A HOLLOW BULLET TO THE COLON....
. If you do, in fact like my writing.... this one's for you, but not out of like hatred like my usual rants FOR YOU... RATHER THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE.... BUT FOR MY HATRED OF THE ELIMIATION OF THE "E" OR "MAN" IN THE WORD WOMAN.... which, and you were mostly right in pegging me as someone who might not self identify as a woman... I really don't like it, or I hate being called MA'AM... It makes me feel old or like a slave dirver... I'd rather be called "MASSA MEG". oh wait please don't spell womyn with a y when referring to me, I hate that, you can call me a bulldyke if you wish, only addendum.... just cuz there are so many "womyn" that annoy the living goddamned dinasoured constipated stuck in my colon for years b/c of narcotic abuse shit out of me and I have hated that word for ages.... SO WHAT IF WOMAN HAS MAN IN IT???. its a fucking word... bulldyke is better though... I have a problem self identifying as anything and even though it was pointed out to me that I am not a "bull" b/c I am not a big girl unfortunately, and I like cock, but that does not stop me from being a "dyke" "bulldyke" is a word that I learned from my father at an early age in order to explain my mother's best moustached obese lesbian friend) but that's just me.... with that word.... Sorry to me it's like someone calling me jesus I don't know but WOMYN is a bad word for me.... almost like racist (the only racial slur for white people I've realized).... but (sorry) I think I may prefer racists (of any race) to "womyn" and I write this mostly to address my hatred of the word... you had no idea... not to blame... and I can (unfortunately) understand why you might just maybe take me for a man hating feminist who hates the fact that "man" is in their gender but, although I hate males, I consider myself an equal oppurtunity hater, and hate females just as much, maybe a bit less right now cuz of certain circumstances, but it'll be equal soon enough.... Some of the best people I've met have been misogynists, including female identifying misogynists....
and my addendum to this is not addressed to you, rather to people that use the word "womyn" in general... but yea please call me "bulldyke" from now on... If you do, in fact like my writing.... this one's for you, but not out of like hatred like my usual rants FOR YOU... RATHER THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE.... BUT FOR MY HATRED OF THE ELIMIATION OF THE "E" OR "MAN" IN THE WORD WOMAN.... which, and you were mostly right in pegging me as someone who might not self identify as a woman... I really don't like it, or I hate being called MA'AM... It makes me feel old or like a slave dirver... I'd rather be called "MASSA MEG". oh wait please don't spell womyn with a y when referring to me, I hate that, you can call me a bulldyke if you wish, only addendum.... just cuz there are so many "womyn" that annoy the living goddamned dinasoured constipated stuck in my colon for years b/c of narcotic abuse shit out of me and I have hated that word for ages.... SO WHAT IF WOMAN HAS MAN IN IT???. its a fucking word... bulldyke is better though... I have a problem self identifying as anything and even though it was pointed out to me that I am not a "bull" b/c I am not a big girl unfortunately, and I like cock, but that does not stop me from being a "dyke" "bulldyke" is a word that I learned from my father at an early age in order to explain my mother's best moustached obese lesbian friend) but that's just me.... with that word.... Sorry to me it's like someone calling me jesus I don't know but WOMYN is a bad word for me.... almost like racist (the only racial slur for white people I've realized).... but (sorry) I think I may prefer racists (of any race) to "womyn" and I write this mostly to address my hatred of the word... you had no idea... not to blame... and I can (unfortunately) understand why you might just maybe take me for a man hating feminist who hates the fact that "man" is in their gender but, although I hate males, I consider myself an equal oppurtunity hater, and hate females just as much, maybe a bit less right now cuz of certain circumstances, but it'll be equal soon enough.... Some of the best people I've met have been misogynists, including female identifying misogynists.... and again excuse the rant to your extremely undeserved awesome comment you have dropped on my page, but I can't stop ranting, or writing, and consider it 5 months of trauma (don't mean to sound like a victim, or worse survivor) unleashed out onto unfortunate readers of this page and my blog.... BUT TO YOU.... THANK YOU SOOO MUCH.... same to you!!!. feel free to reach out whenever. You have a friend for life (unfortunately or not)... but to the rest of you... please don't go around offending us poor souls by removing the "e" from our gender, unless we self identify as that. hahahaaa... and I can't believe I'd ever go on a rant about self gender identity because I really don't care if someone is he she it animal vegatible or mineral, straight, gay, bi, queer, independant, necrophiliac, nambla (I don't like people fucking children though), bestial (again don't approve of the rape of animals, but if they're willing, PLAY BALL... I KNOW SEVERAL WOMEN AND WOMYN WHO FUCK THEIR DOGS!!!!. U GO GALZ!)... PLUS I hear dolphin sex is AMAZING... Find me a willing dolphin male and ITS ON... uhmm.... god I could go on about this gender thing forever.... It's ultimately that I don't care what gender a person is and who the person is inside (aaaw, I know too sweet) and honestly it is sometimes arrogant and makes me angry when I get a pronoun wrong or sad when someone gets hurt (again I have a HEART FUCK OFF) b/c I get their pronoun wrong when I can hardly remember very good friends of mine's names.... and if you have changed your gender more than twice and you are not or were not formally Duwayne Slieghtweight (sorry to call you out but this is a compliment b/c you are the most humble person ever and have charmed me to death, and are one of the only ones I can think of who has changed their pronoun multiple times, and I love your mass emails about it...) I just might accidentally refer to you as the wrong pronoun and for the most part I'm sorry. But yea, god... But I have long hated WOMYN since I was a small child and I honestly told my parents to stop calling me their little girl, and I knew I was not a boy, so made them call me their "little guy" so I grew up with some serious gender issues... And ironically enough, because I make them now, I refused to play with dolls, I liked he-mans, and some boy's toys, but mostly stuffed animals, of which I owned thousands of and hoarded and my mother unfortunately systematically got rid of under my nose until I was 26, despite my sincere promises that I would one day remove them and use them again, and would have by now... and the prior addendum, and I will say is not addressed to anyone in particular rather something that seeing the word "womyn" spurred in me... years of hatred of that word and as I will state again thank you so much for your consideration and I definately understand why you would think I was a person that wanted "man" eliminated from my gender identitiy.... but in my opinion this whole gender identity thing has become so out of fucking control that it's leading to a single enuch, barbie doll genatalia identification of a human being, because like I previously stated there are becoming waaaay to many to keep track of.... and EUNICH is just fine for me... but I prefer "bulldyke".
Also I do hate being called a "woMAN" just because it makes me feel old... I am old... but I still don't feel like a WOMAN... I don't knit, take candle baths, or like flowers (actually I do like flowers), I don't CRY, I'M NOT BAREFOOT, I'M NOT PREGNANT, I DON'T COOK, I DON'T MAKE CAKE, WEAR APRONS, DREAM ABOUT MARRAIGE, GO SHOPPING FOR MY WEDDING GOWN, HAVE A CHILD, HAVE A MINIVAN, HAVE A SHIRT THAT SAYS MY PET WALKS ALL OVER ME (although I wish I did), AM A NAGGING BITCH (umm.. that's a lie), CLEAN THE HOUSE, SHAVE MY ARMPITS, DOUCHE, GO TO THE "BEAUTY PARLOR" (not to be confused with the "barber shop" which I also wish I hung out at daily), DIET, GET PLASTIC SURGERY (yet), BUY HYGENE PRODUCTS, EAT SALADS, HATE SPORTS (yes I do), REMAIN SILENT, DON'T PROTEST, AM FAT, STUPID, ATTENDED A SORORITY, HAVE LOW SELF WORTH, NEED MEN TO GIVE ME SELF WORTH, NEED A BOYFRIEND/HUSBAND/PARTNER, and that is not what a WOMAN is to me, but rather what I thought it was growing up for a long time... When it was popularized in the eighties that then Female Scream Queen Jamie Lee Curtis was actually born a Hermaphrodite or I was told so by my father and then told that I, also was born with a penis and they had it cut off when I was born because my vagina was more prevalant, and then that was told to me over and over and over I got confused... and still obviously am... I didn't like women. I never thought my mom was... My mom was someone I called IGOR From the planet "V-NECK T-SHIRT" (yea kids are brilliant, I only wish I remembered more of my childhood), women did the aforementioned to me and I wanted nothing to do with it... we never had a dog, so I never tried the peanut butter trick, so I never got into dogfucking, which was another thing that was enforced in my mind that WOMEN did by my father... Women were all these things.... ummm... no.... WOMYN ARE ALL THESE THINGS.... FUCK WOMYN.... YEA actually I said I don't care what you identify as, but I correct myself, IF YOU IDENTIFY AS A "WOMYN" uhmmm.... YEA YOU ARE EVERYTHING TERRIBLE TO ME.... and I refuse to recognize that as a spelling for a word....
Oh yea and while I'm at it, I really don't like be called a woman, but I HATE being called maam.... "Woman" makes me feel old.... MAAM makes me feel as if a gay male stewardess is talking to me (which just happened), I am about to die, or am a slave driver.... It's simliar to being called MASSA MEG, which I would not mind nearly as much.... or MINE FURHER.... WOMYN.... YEA PLEASE DON'T SAY IT AROUND ME.... I TRY my hardest to respect people's gender identities, if you don't know and it's a mistake, and you call me it, it's fine... Just don't do it again unless you want to piss me off... So now, if you have read this far, or just caught this tidbit, YOU CAN GET TO ME... CALL ME A WOMYN.... fully knowing the way I feel about it... this person was just trying to be respectful and that is beyond fine... It's flattering... But, like they say "CALL ME WOMYN ONCE, SHAME ON ME, CALL ME WOMYN TWICE AND YOU WILL GET A HOLLOW BULLET TO THE COLON". I think Ben Franklin said that or something.....
Thursday, April 19, 2012
haha... thread from fbook after someone uttered the phrase "oakland rules" on my page.
- Friends with Kurt Kiesel and 29 othersOakland rules.16 hours ago · ·
1 
Meg Mccarville GO TO HELL!!!!!. OOPS. you are already in it... i honestlyl have never ever ever done the petty stupid task of defriending a single person on this stupid social network but your idiotic dogshit ignorant comment makes me want to rip your fucking ugly face out and drown you in my dead father's cholostomy bag.... JENN DUNGEN.... YOU ARE FACEBOOK DEAD TO ME.... AND ANYONE ELSE WHO PRAISES OAKLAND WILL SUFFER THE SAME FATE.... GOD I honestly WISH you were right in front of me right now and I had my machete and, well the cholostomy bags are in my closet... safe and sound, and waiting... and so am I..... STUPID BITCH!!!!!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!. GO PLANT A TREE, HELP THE NEIGHBORHOOD, BE SCARED OF BEING WHITE, OCCUPY SOMETHING STUPID, PRETEND YOU KNOW HOW TO RIOT, COMPLAIN ABOUT THE POLICE, AND THEN CUT YOURSELF INTO SEVERAL FUCKING PIECES AND RECYCLE IT INTO THE EIGHTEEN GARBAGE CANS THEY FORCE YOU TO USE AND PAY FOR AND THEN MOVE TO SAN FRANSISCO WHERE YOU BELONG YOU CHEAP WHITEBREAD BITCH..... I HOPE THE COPS SHOOT YOU IN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES.... AND THEN SOME HARDCORE ASS BITCHES THAT KNOW ABOUT LIVING IN OAKLAND AND WOULD NEVER SAY SOMETHING AS IGNORANT AS "oakland rules (i'm dumb and privalidged)" RUN A TRAIN ON YOUR DEAD ROTTING CORPSE IN PRISON.... DEFRIENDED!!!!!!!!!15 hours ago · · 5- Meg Mccarville ANYONE ELSE ON THIS SOCIAL NETWORK GOT SOMETHING GOOD TO SAY ABOUT OAKLAND????. YEA I THOUGHT SO....
- Meg Mccarville Actually, there IS this really cool spot on 30th and west where... OH NEVERMIND.... DEFRIENDED.... WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU ANYWAY???.15 hours ago · · 1
Jen DunjenI'm not sure you were really here long enough to get a feel for Oakland overall. You were probably hanging with the totally wrong people from what I saw from your posts. FYI, I know you from plenty of noise shows in Chicago. Chicago is also great and I still miss it so go enjoy it and stop yelling on FB.
Ruth R. Hustle Oppenheim-Rothschild wait hold on are you saying you're living in an sro in CHICAGO?? did you make it back??- Meg Mccarville yea... Ruth... I'm right like half a block from where i lived before... I was going to continue my story before I was so rudely interrupted by an ignorant comment.... shot to the heart.... sorry... I'LL SEE YOU SOON!!!!. I'M SO HAPPY TO BE BACK!!!!!.
- Jen DunjenI'll look you up the next time I'm in Chicago. You can bring the stinky colostomy bags. It all sounds very intriguing.14 hours ago · · 1
- Meg Mccarville No... Jen... honestly.... I don't care... and I don't understand why people can't understand SARCASM.... I don't have a bunch of my dead father's cholostomy bags in my closet... unfortunately... my father did not ever need a cholostomy.... unfortunately.... err... what?. umm.. yea. he had a colon. it's cool. you're just dumb.i don't like dumb comments. that's it. like say something not dumb please. like why does "oakland rule"?. say something not dumg... i dare you...
- Meg Mccarville it would be... i'm sorry to exaggerate about that... haha. it would be exciting... i wish...
- Meg Mccarville I can't ever leave. Yea Ruth.. You, Janice, and a handful of others....
- Meg Mccarville I'm so sorry I left... I kissed the ground when I got to Midway and apologized to Chicago... then got an apartment the next day...
- Meg Mccarville i was with my mom today checking out this apartment in Pilsen and saw Jail on the street and I honestly had to like pace myself so I did not look like a total freak and start crying and freaking out seeing someone I knew and loved in Chicago. I think I kept it cool enough...14 hours ago · · 1
- Ruth R. Hustle Oppenheim-Rothschild Less and less all the time but the good ones always come back sooner or later. I'll totally see you/vanessa this weekend. And yeah, fuck oakland + glad you're back but whatevs, give them a break, we all get defensive about "our" city etc.
- Meg Mccarville I might lose my shit on Saturday though. It might be too much... I might have a seizure.
- Meg Mccarville DUDE for the record... I was kidding about that rant. I really went through some serious shit in Oakland though which I have yet to address with my mentality... It's way too new... I am so angry with what happened to me in that town (and it's me, not other people, wonderful people, like Vanessa, thrive there) but I love this city sooooooooooooooo much..... And right now I hate especially Oakland and New Orleans and I was in love with both of those towns so if anyone says anything to me about them I might just freak... it's not hard for me right now.... why I am sequestering myself in the suburbs and not staying in the city right now....
- Meg Mccarville I didn't even mean for this facebook shit to happen.... DAMMIT FACEBOOK.... WTF AM I DOING????. I was just writing and then a comment struck a nerve. I'm also in the midst of finally reading the tribune that my mom saved for me about Jeremy Hammond. where he appears on the front page... and trying to wrap my mind all around that.... THAT was one of the reasons I left as well.... I wanted NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT... AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE was doing, but I didn't want to know or be close to it...
- Meg Mccarville so like I should not be on social networking sites at all... even saying that....
- Meg Mccarville I don't even know what happened to him.... He was on the cover o the tribune and then disappeared....
- Meg Mccarville ACTUALLY NO WAAIT WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING!!!!!!!!. MY FACEBOOK PAGE..... MY FUCKING RULES..... NO PRAISING OAKLAND!!!!!!!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!......
I AM FURHER OF HTTP://WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/ MEG.MCCARVILLE - Meg Mccarville YOU PRAISE OAKLAND.... YOU FACE DEAD OLD MAN SHIT. GO DIE IN A GUTTER JEN DUNN.
- Meg Mccarville i wish i could update myself completely but i am now hosting a satanic ritual in your name and wishing bad ju ju onto u...
Minoo Kuru that jenn lady must be totally retarded, why would anyone want you to "stop yelling on fb" ???4 hours ago · · 1
Betty Devoe Darling, you need to write a book about your adventures, seriously. Glad you are back in this fair city. Xoxo- Meg Mccarville I am going to... this is all being saved in my blog... Trust me... I am on my way to getting a PROFESSIONAL THERAPIST A.S.A.P., but the writing as cheezy as it is is therapeutic as hell and keeps me from doing anything further than attacking people by written words and the interweb.... Yea... Sorry to the folks that don't like me, but I really feel at home here, and I don't want to leave ever. Unless to another country.... And it is great to hear anyone, but also especially familiar constant Chicago staples like you and Minoo are still here and supportive.about an hour ago · · 1
- Meg Mccarville Oh wait... I keep getting these moments of unclarity... addendum... I am NOT sorry to the people that don't like me here... but I am here to stay... I'm not starting anything... rather I actually hate this shit... it's just fuel for the fire... I just want people to CHILLLLL OUT!!!!. (I know, ironic coming from me).
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