Dirty Words

The Nazis were horrible and all, but how could a person really hate them?

I was watching this program on the History Channel today about the different crazy weapons of destruction that were made by them. The most impressive was this one that consisted of two speakers that let out so much noise that the pressure from the sound would extend a full half mile and destroy anything in its path.

The resulting force was equivalent to what you would feel if you were 10,000 feet under water. You blow yourself to smithereens. It was amazing. Another cool Nazi weapon was a gun that shot around corners. There were so many more.

They had such amazing engineers, those Nazis, that it's a shame that they used so many of them to kill all those Jews. My father, of course, has always insisted there weren't even six million Jews on the entire planet during World War II, so therefore the Holocaust could not possibly have happened. I don't know. I was not there. The photos are sexy. But I tend to think that the Holocaust happened.

As for the rest of Nazi lore, I just like the weapons. I have nothing against Jews, except for the guy I'm dating and his mean hippie parents.

This brings me into what I actually want to sound off about. My main job is working with homeless and "at risk" youth. That means sex workers, drug addicts, homeless people, hungry people, fat people, trans people, gay people, et cetera.

It's a nonprofit organization, and we have recently opened a "drop-in," which is a place where all these degenerates can hang out, and the degenerate who's writing this has to regulate shit on Fridays.

For months, we had no problems there and we have every type of youth in the world coming there. It's really a utopia, almost. People who would be called "ghetto" can be seen hanging out with loud trannies, which you would never see on the streets, and then chatting with artsy drug-addict hipsters and the others. Get this: They all even agree on movies and television shows. The O.C. seems to be the popular one that surpasses age, race, gender, sexual orientation, and everything else . . . go figure. So anyway, everything was going along well.

Until the language police barged in and busted up everybody's good time.

One of my genius roommates, who also has the same working position as I do, decided to go to an event highly populated by trans, gays, "people of color" etc. and sing a song that had the word "nigger" in it about thirty times.

I was just waiting for him to get assaulted, but I was also glad he did it. When it was over though, nothing seemed to happen. No repercussions. Nothing. We thought. This lasted for about a week. Then the shit started hitting the fucking fan.

Now we are no longer able to say anything. AT ALL. EVERYTHING IS REGULATED. We are now going to be a "SAFE SPACE" where you cannot say even the most miniscule word that could be taken the wrong way.

Most people would come to the conclusion then that you wouldn't be stupid and use the hot-button key words, like nigger, faggot, whore, he-she, honky, half-breed, lardo, cripple, bugaboo, mr. bojangles, loonie, junkie, sheenie, beaner, sand nigger, ho, dyke, etc. (Jesus, I love writing those down).

Anyone with sense would avoid those words, but recently someone said they got "gypped" and was reprimanded. You know why? Because the word "gypped" is derived from the word "Gypsy," and that could hurt the feelings of those who tell fortunes and wear lots of jewelry and steal things.

More recently I mentioned that I felt like I was "going crazy." I got jumped on and asked what the word "crazy" means to me and don't I think that someone could be offended by that and what was wrong with me etc. It's sick. I can't say anything anymore.

The Powers That Be keep repeating, "We don't want anyone walking on eggshells." I'm afraid to open my mouth anymore. It's impossible to even say anything that may not be taken as offensive.

This is ruining everything that we stood for in the first place. These kids who are homeless, sex worker, drug addicts have a lot more to worry about than if they use a certain fucking word and make someone "sad".

More importantly, the only person concerned with language is a "feminist" who is responsible for all these regulations. One funny aspect is that, as a woman, I am allowed to say and write whore, junkie, and anything I want about rape, very graphically, but since I'm a honky, I can't write or say anything about people of color or anything else.

I'm also not allowed to talk about fatties, because I'm not fat. FAT is one of my favorite words! I say it all the time. I'm going through withdrawal by not being able to call my roommates fat at work. This shit makes me sick. I think I am going to become a fat gay transexual black Arab who whores out my body and is mentally ill and crippled and, of course, a woman. Then I'll be able to say whatever the fuck I want.

Crap like this is why I do not like being equated with the feminists. There were plenty of feminist geniuses, but the feminists are also the first ones to outlaw porn. It's sick and dangerous. Some feminists are more dangerous than the fucking right-wing conservatives.

I know this is a little more political than I usually write, but I want to point out the danger that can come when people start censoring our words. Regardless of whether they are "liberal" or "right wing," I hate them all. NO ONE has freedom of speech in mind. Everyone's main goal is to shut "the other side" up.

I started this by pointing out how lovable the Nazis were for inventing such great weapons. I really want the sonic blast one. I would round up all feminists, Christians, and anyone else that wants to stop me from saying words like fat, fag, turd, plug, degenerate, junkie, troll, decay-stinking fat-asses, rat-breath cripples, socket face, mental degenerates, sperm stench, cottage cheese cum, prepuce, thick shaft, sand nigger, abuse, plow, slam stroke, slither, wretch, slop, pull one off, pulsing, crawling, gypsy, seeping, tight hard ass, fat monstrosity, shit chewing rat, flea infested garbage dump, cock-sucking crack whore, pedophile waste-case, immense blob, sickening nigger, old tang, clam sauce, half breed, etc. and place them all within a half mile radius and blast "Happy Together" by the Turtles and watch all of their bodies explode into a million pieces from a videocast while I am safe at home.

That would make my day.