For the past four months, I have had one, and only one, sexual partner. It is a far cry from my behavior of the previous two years, wherein I'd say I racked up about 80 different bedmates.
Eighty is only an estimate; it could be more or less. And I didn't make a damn dime. I figure if I went home with that many scumbag motherfuckers from bars, why the hell am I not prostituting myself? I could have at least made some money. I'm a fucking idiot. I asked for nothing. That's the world's problem. Everyone wants something. These fuckers got something. I feel gypped. All I got was genital warts.
Now that I am only fucking one person I feel like people are trying to take parts of me in other ways. Trying to fucking own me. My stuff. My brain. My thoughts. Stuff I make. Stuff I write. Stuff I do. Stuff I own. Everyone wants a fucking piece. Whether it's pussy or something else. Everyone's always trying to break off a piece.
They want to intrude into my thoughts, my time, my life. I don't spend enough time on the phone with someone. I am not being a good friend. Maybe if I just fucked them all they would be satisfied. Everyone's a fucking pervert. And everyone wants a piece. They know that they are incomplete so they think that they can complete themselves by using another person.
How do you rape someone that's allowed it? I feel like I'm constantly being raped but allowing it. People pick and pick at me and I let it happen. I don't feel sorry for myself, but I'd like for it to stop.
Fuck the games.
Get rid of the play-acting.
Let the real thing be sold.
How do you rape someone without knowing it?
Install a camera in the girl’s room and watch them piss and shit without them ever knowing that you're coming all over yourself at their expense.
I guess that's a way.
It's easy.
Talk to them, steal from them, their bodies, their minds, their possessions, and they will never know the difference. Because it is not the RAPE we see on the news.
I was not tied down with a gun to my fucking head by some massive, dark-skinned man calling me a bitch and holding me down and pumping my ass with his fat, uncircumcised, disease-addled cock.
But you are still taking from me.
There are no news stories about this.
It's not interesting enough, and far too common.
It's not only me getting raped, it’s not only women, it’s men, it’s everyone.
Rape is a buzzword.
The honesty can be claustrophobic.
But you're all taking from me. I call it rape.
It makes people uncomfortable when I say that.
I am a parasite too. I will not deny that.
But right now, I feel like I am being pulled in too many directions by too many people and decisions are getting harder and harder to make.
Maybe that is what success is.
Maybe that's when you know you're succeeding, when everyone wants to rape you.
But like I said it's hard to rape the willing and I am weak and often willing.
I want to vomit all the time.
Everything comes at a price.
I never noticed all of this until I stepped back and stopped thinking about rape in a sexual way. But it can hurt. I see it happen to people all the time. Watch out, my friends.
Parasites are everywhere. And we are all victims and perpetrators. This is a warning to you all. Be careful what you are doing, and be aware of what is being done to you.
Rape is a serious word, but sometimes it takes a buzzword like RAPE for people to understand exactly what they are doing.
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