Popping My Anime Cherry

I don't know how many of you dorks out there in CJ land are Manga fans, or even know what Manga is. Before writing this, I tried to make a venn diagram of Manga fans, CJ fans, and the people who are both. Manga fans tend to be fat, dorky, morbidly obese, fat, gross, fat men. I still have not categorized CJ fans yet. Nonetheless, for those of you that don't know what it is, it's basically Japanese animation. I'm not particularly well schooled in it... but I did get a recent lesson, after which I felt so dirty I had to shower repeatedly just to get the Manga off of me and out of my mind. And it still won't fucking leave. It's so vile! I feel like I’ve been locked in a room and repeatedly gangbanged by vile fat, fat, fat, fat, Asian-loving men with tiny penises over and over and over. I did not ask for this, rather I was mistakenly thrown into this world, and I cannot seem to shake it.

I had semi-fortunate, but mostly unfortunate chance this weekend to attend the San Diego Comicon; quite possibly the world's biggest, most foul, disgusting assembly of perverts and comic trash, horror movie trash, zombie trash, anime trash, and Christ the list goes on and on. It even had Christian trash (as I learned, and I got some very DISGUSTING comic books from their table as well). This disgusting perv-fest happens around this time every year in San diego. For four days, these pedophiles, hebophiles, and other philes convene in one huge convention center and dress up in gross costumes and rub up against each other’s sweaty, nerdy bodies in order to obtain whatever their favorite dorky perversion is in the largest quantities possible.

I saw many perverse things when I was there. Far too many to explain. But I will highlight a few choice ones.

First, there was a sexy amputee dressed up as a character from a recent movie and exploiting the fact that she lost a leg, and it was so fucking hot. I have about ten minutes of videotape of disgustioids like myself drooling over her. Also, and this is sick, I saw these two Jonbenet types, little blonde littles, who were both wearing pink bathing suits and were obviously twin sisters. They were eating a french fry that they kept passing from one mouth to the other ala Lady and the Tramp, and it just looked like they were making out. This also went on for a full ten minutes, with the same french fry mind you, but I did not have the fortunate chance to document this with my video camera and I fear if I did it may put me in some kind of legal peril. Of course, there were 75 pedophiles hiding in the ceiling gazing at this weirdly unrehearsed act of perversion. Among other highlights was a very old man who looked like he was 2 seconds away from death in a wheelchair who turned out to be Ray Bradbury. He was so cute. And also I got the clap from Ernie Hudson… aka the black Ghostbuster Winston, aka the Warden from Oz (my favorite role). Those are some highlights.

However, my dears, I am not here to talk about those highlights. Instead, I will dwell on something more dark – a world much more foul and terrible... a world that on the surface looks innocent (like child beauty pageants to some, I guess), but is in fact so perverse even I feel dirty knowing it exists.

My entire life, I have been drawn to perversions of all types and thought I had some grasp of the good majority of them, but I totally misjudged everything. It started when I got to the convention. I started seeing them – small Asian girls with ears and hiked up skirts who already looked like they were underage, but they were trying extra hard to look like children. More and more of them surfaced until there were hundreds, maybe even a thousand of these girls walking around. But for every girl like this, there were at least 25 men. All, as I have explained, pockmarked and morbidly obese, all with little boners, sweating and drooling over each of these tiny princesses.

I was extremely intrigued by this, and honestly a bit jealous that I could not look that disgustingly young and did not have schoolgirl uniform and slanty eyes. I wanted to know the origin. I knew it had something to do with something Asian (good guess, right?), and probably somewhere around Japan because it is the most perverse and wonderful place in the entire universe. But that pretty much summed up my knowledge. Something Asian that fat, lonely men liked better than food and porn, but I also know it had to involve food and porn in some way or these fat men could not sustain their disgusting fatness.

Then I found it. I found a table full of it. Porno after porno... stuff I could not describe; stuff I never knew existed; stuff that I know if it did exist it would most certainly be super hidden and totally illegal, all sitting right before me at one of the table.

I picked one up. I think it was called "Pet Degradation" or something. It was a comic so it was all drawings, and it had this Asian child chained to a pole eating a white popsicle that was dripping all over her chin and her semi (very semi) clothed little body. And where her little special place was there was a big sticker that said "18+" over it. Although I am over 18, I can't help but think plenty of folks under the age of 18 may be able to speculate what was beneath that sticker.

I opened the book and found out what was under that sticker. I had guess right.

It had panel after panel of total inexplicable sexual deviance. It was so dirty even I, your slut in residence, felt like I had acted like Mother Teresa my entire life. All of my knowledge and horrible experiences went away when I focused my eyes upon those pages and pages of terribly perverse panels. I can't possibly begin to explain what this book contained, but if you ask, I can refer you to a website where you may purchase it all for your "self education." Sure, letting all you Sick Fucks know about such a thing is probably akin to dropping a hydrogen bomb, but then again I know that this stuff exists all over, and there was no one there protesting, or even commenting on it. It was all normal.

Naturally, I had to purchase as much of this stuff that my unemployed, broke ass could afford not only to satisfy the disgusting pervert that is me, but also as evidence to prove that this stuff fucking exists. I got it folks. Tons of it. Well, not really tons, but enough to sicken me for the next ten years (if I happen to live that long).

I can’t entirely explain why I had to buy them. I think it’s because I’ve always prided myself in knowing and having gone through so much… so much broken glass and bloody cum and molestation and touching of every sort. Obviously this is why I'm drawn and very put off, but also turned on, by this sort of stuff. It makes me sick that it really exists, and I really can't explain it, but I had to have it.

My brain is not even close to starting to wrap itself around this one. And I know there are plenty of people out there that love this stuff. Judging by the ones that could actually get their fat asses out of their houses and down to Southern California for the weekend, there must be a billion more fat asses that just sat at home and stared at their computers and typed something and received the same shit in the mail. I'm sorry for sounding like the Church Lady and Madonna. But I feel like a virgin again after witnessing this. DAMN.

Now, who wants to pop my newfound cherry?